believe

Big Fat Scary Dreams

There is nothing to writing. All you have to do is sit down at a typrwriter and bleed. I have a dream that scares me. My dream is bigger than me. It's bigger than my education. It's bigger than anything I've done before. Pursuing my dream is stretching me. I feel the tension. My words feel trapped in the thickness. Today, I am taking a deep breath and pushing myself further as I exhale.

Just like when we stretch our bodies, if we take a deep breath, we can stretch a bit further when we exhale. Try it. It's true. Exhaling is like letting go.

I am letting go of this vulnerable feeling. I am letting go of what you might think when you read this. I am letting go of the outcome. We can't control the outcome. What we can control changes and is limited. Today, I can control my actions, my reactions and my attitude. I am choosing to press on toward the goal; toward the calling on my heart.

I don't have all the answers. I don't have to. I just have to trust the one whom does and do the next right thing. My next right thing this morning was this post. Now, the next right thing is to complete a short ebook and get it published this week!

That’s a big fat scary dream…I almost deleted it. What if I don’t get it finished? What if I don’t get it published by the end of the week? Oh, but what if I do? What if I do and it inspires just one person? Either way, it has to come out. The dream has to come out. If it dies within me, a part of me dies. I can’t afford that. I need to be fully alive! Even if it means accomplishing my dream and not one person reads it. I did my part. I followed through.

[Tweet theme="tweet-box-normal-blue"]The dream has to come out. If it dies within me, a part of me dies. I can’t afford that. I need to be fully alive!BH[/Tweet] If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I do have a bigger dream. Yes, I have a dream of publishing a best selling book, Save the Butter Tubs. Ultimately, my dream is even bigger than that. I have so many books inside my head, it’s no wonder I can’t think straight. This week, I will begin to leak those thoughts to the public; My most vulnerable thoughts. My heart will be cut open and I will share. I will take the risk because I believe you are worth it. I will take the risk because I have to. I will purge my words. I will give away a precious part of my soul that I have hoarded for so long.

Fully living is vulnerable and raw. It’s risky. It’s rewarding.

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The High Price of Unbelief And How to Pay It With Faith

(Disclosure: This post will not be about me shoving my faith in Jesus in your face. It will be about faith, beliefs and the high price of unbelief in whatever it is you are struggling to believe.)

The High Cost of Unbelief and How to Pay it with FaithBelief is complex. We can believe things because we see them. I believe my office needs a serious makeover because I see chaos when I open the door. We can also believe in things we cannot see. Faith is believing in something that you cannot see. I have faith in the brakes on my FJ Cruiser. I believe that when I push the brake pedal it will stop. Thankfully, it does.

What we believe about ourselves, our hopes and dreams work the same way. I believe that I am pale complexioned because I can look in the mirror. If mirrors didn't exist the sun would remind me in about fifteen minutes. I also believe I am capable of accomplishing things I have never done before. I haven't always felt that way.

When we don't believe we create stories in our heads. If I didn't have faith in my brakes, I could start fantasizing about all the horrible things that could happen to me. I could ignore the fact that my skin is pale hitting the beach all day with friends but the truth would be painful.

To start believing in myself, my abilities to accomplish my dreams, I looked back on my life. Now, I did share with you in the disclosure at the beginning of this that my faith is ultimately in Jesus. I believe that he will work all things together for those that love him and obey his commands. Let's just say for a moment you don't believe that, that's your choice. Either way, take a look back over your life. What things have you accomplished that you never thought were possible? Write them down. Think about how you felt before you did them. Did you believe you could accomplish them?

In 2010, I participated in a Sprint Triathlon. I will save the full story for another time but just know that I am not that kind of athlete. I was pushing myself to do something I had never done before. I didn't even own a bike! I borrowed one three days before the event. I didn't know if I could accomplish this goal or not. I was believing in something I had not seen before. Was I scared? You bet I was! Was it hard? Duh! Remember, I am not that kind of athlete. Not really an athlete at all to be honest.

Now, if I had never done that triathlon, what would it matter? It didn't shoot me to superstar status. I didn't make the Wheaties box. I didn't even get a participation medal. What I got was so much deeper. I accomplished a goal. I learned valuable lessons that I will carry with me forever. In fact, just writing this short snip bit about it gets me all fired up! It still blows my mind to this day.

I call this exercise of writing down your accomplishments your Victory Channel. (I also include my God moments. Like, the time a deer came out of nowhere almost running into the front tire of my FJ but then it was just gone, no explanation. I count those on my Victory Channel, too. They remind me that I am still here for a purpose.) When I feel my channel is stuck on the doubt station or the negativity station. I flip the switch. I read my Victory Channel list. I remind myself that I CAN do things I once doubted or at least I can try.

[Tweet theme="tweet-box-normal-blue"]I remind myself that I CAN do things I once doubted or at least I can try.[/Tweet]

What happens if you don't? If, I had never participated in that triathlon, if, I had never started this blog, what would the cost be? It breaks my heart to think of the cost. The cost is high for me and for you. Had I never done the triathlon I would be beating myself up with regret. My station would be stuck on doubt, on wondering. I would have never inspired anyone; no lessons would have been learned. No funny stories would be told. If I had not started this blog, you wouldn't be reading this. We would never meet (even if it's just over the web). My doubt station would be on. My heart would be filled with regret. My dream would be dead instead of taking off. It really comes down to the dreams in your heart. Let them out! Let them fly!

If you don’t believe in yourself, your dreams, a goal, you begin to tear yourself up. You find ways to avoid what your heart is calling you to do in faith. You make choices out a place of avoidance. Choices that can have lifelong consequences. Have patience and faith to do the next right thing that will lead you closer to your dream.

[Tweet theme="basic-white"]No matter how small, a step toward your dream is better than a step away from it.~BrendaHaire [/Tweet]

Is risk involved in believing? Sure, sometimes there is. Trust me when I say that the benefits far out weight the risks. This isn't an infomercial for one of those pills. You know the ones, grow your hair back but die of bleeding out your eyeballs... Was that too much?  You know exactly what I am talking about though and dreaming is not like that at all. The dreams are there because they are a part of you. It may be that one dream teaches you lessons to launch another. Dreams do change; however, when freed, the legacy they leave can be great.

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The High Cost of Unbelief and How to Pay it with Faith

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