Life

A Tribe is More Than a Buzzword

Just give me the knowledge

I was first introduced to this exotic community of creatives called The Igniting Souls Tribe in September of 2016. I watched a webinar sponsored by Jeff Goins, Author of Real Artists Don't Starve. He introduced some bald guy with a girl's name, and I wanted his knowledge. It was exactly what I needed for my business and my book!  I started with a program called My Book Blueprint. The value of that offer was more than I ever thought I'd receive. I not only got what I paid for  (which was extremely helpful!) but I was IN THE TRIBE!

What I wanted to know:

  • How to help others with my message?
  • How to make a difference with my book?
  • How to turn my book into a business?

What's the heck is a Tribe?

By definition, a tribe is a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.

Basically, this new buzzword is going back to the basics. Instead of just having a following, you create a community of like minded individuals. The leader sets the rules and the standards. Some do this very intentionally while others just lump anyone breathing into a group to feel better about themselves and claim a following. The Igniting Souls Tribe is very intentional. They have a strong leader that is the face and voice of the Tribe.

Kary has written several books, speaks around the world and coaches not only one-on-one but his TRIBE! Yep, he is actively coaching with phone calls twice a week, a very active private Facebook group that is kept intentional with rules for posting and any time I have personally reached out to him over the last year, he replies...and quickly! Talk about service! Kary is all about serving others and he has taught his tribe well.

Genius Marketing

Once I became part of the Igniting Souls Tribe, I couldn't believe I was rubbing shoulders with people that were where I wanted to be! I was watching their questions in the Facebook group and seeing the interaction with not only Kary, but among the tribe members themselves. Everyone serving one another.

Kary, Me and David
Kary, Me and David

I didn't even know I'd be in the tribe much less know I'd have access to Kary through the Facebook group. I quickly realized what geniuses both Kary and his business partner David are! The gave me more than I paid for up front and then allowed me to start trusting them and their tribe. I saw the interactions–the magic.

Honestly, I don't know how Kary keeps it all straight in his head, but he knows most of the tribe by name and goals! Whether that to become an author, to become a coach or speaker, he knows the stories that make up the people. I stand in awe!

Mothership

I made a decision that I would attend the annual Igniting Souls Conference (ISC), which by the way, you don't have to be in the tribe yet to attend!  I was invited to speak on stage at the conference when my book is published in 2018 so I decided I'd better go to this conference to see what all the hype was about.

Donna, Me and Author  Bamidele Adenipekun

Donna, Me and Author Bamidele Adenipekun

In the Facebook group, the tribe started working out details for people that were traveling in for the event and needed roommates or rides. I needed both. I made the trip from Texas to Ohio to share a room with a woman I barely knew and trusted a complete stranger to pick me up from the airport. Why? Because of the tribe!

These people were all active in the tribe. Some more than others, but remember what I said about serving others. That's exactly what was unfolding. Three other ladies figured out through the Facebook post that we were all arriving about the same time. One, now dear new friend, Donna, was renting a car and offered to drive us all to our hotel which was just walking distance to the conference center.

Round Table Masterminds
Round Table Masterminds

The day of our trip everyone started texting each other (we exchanged numbers so we could easily find each other at the airport.) Donna texted "almost to the mothership." That word mothership summed up my entire conference experience.

It was an incredible weekend filled with like-minded creatives all moving in the same direction. It was a place were there was no competition. Instead, everyone was serving each other, answering questions, setting up round table discussions where some of the most powerful masterminds happened.

No Aliens Allowed

At the conference, Kary brought in a team of speakers that complimented the tribe. They fit right in! Some of the best experts in their field, yet they didn't just speak and leave. Nope, they stayed and shared meals with us. They spent hours in the hallways talking and coaching us. It was servant-hood at its finest. You could ask anything and they would focus like you were the only one in the room. Of course, others gathered around to gleam whatever they could from these valuable conversations. I was humbled by their humility and kindness and took notes as fast as I could!

Mike Kim, Brian J. Dixon, Kary,  Amy Schmittauer Landino , Dexter Godfrey and David

Mike Kim, Brian J. Dixon, Kary, Amy Schmittauer Landino, Dexter Godfrey and David

Amy Schmittauer Landino  and Me in the hallway

Amy Schmittauer Landino and Me in the hallway

Brian J. Dixon and  Andrew Fehr

Brian J. Dixon and Andrew Fehr

Me and Dexter Godfrey
Me and Dexter Godfrey

What I learned about a Tribe and from the ISC?

  • How to help others with my message.
  • How to make a difference with my book.
  • How to turn my book into a business.
  • Tribes are communities worth investing in.
  • Energy is contagious
  • Fill up, pour out, over flow
  • The ISC is like no conference I have ever experienced because their tribe is like no other community I've ever been a part of.

Note: Some links lead to affiliate products or services, meaning if you buy them, I get a commission at no extra cost to you. Please know that I have personal experience with all of the following resources, which is why I recommend them.

Why Haven't I Heard of This? I'm in Love!

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Blogging

I've never even heard of this and I have two blogs! Bloglovin is an awesome tool to get a feed from the blogs you want to follow!!! I just signed up so I don't know the ropes just yet but I am excited to have a place where the blogs I follow will all be in one place!  Like a social media platform for blogs!

I know, it's the little things in life that make me smile. This is one of them!  Do you use it? Let me know what you know!

How to get started: (if you're like me and have never heard of it!)

  1. Sign-up with your email or with Facebook.
  2. If you have a blog you can clam your blog by entering your entire URL into the search. Then it will walk you through set up.
  3. Fill your feed with your favorite blogs! Click "find blogs" and search for your favs or find new ones!
  4. Enjoy your feed! For each new blog post published – you’ll see an image, a title, and a short description of the blog post. You will see 4 choices underneath: LikeSave, Share and Mark as Read. 

I hope you will follow both of my blogs, www.brendahaire.com and www.wildhairehiking.com! Let me know if you have a blog as well that I might be interested in! Happy connecting!

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I Didn't Expect These Flowers for Valentine's

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They say February is Love Month. Images come to mind of heart shaped boxes filled with yummy chocolates, pink and red flowers, cards with cupids, and romantic candlelight dinners.

That is not exactly the month I had. It was filled with love. It just looked differently.

On January 29, 2017 my 93 year-old grandmother fell and broke her femur at her hip. February rolled in while I was sitting at her bedside in a hospital five hours away from my Valentine. By the fourth we were saying our goodbyes as her kidneys couldn’t come back from all that she’d been through. It was a first for me. The first time I had lost anyone I was this close to. I’d lost loved ones before but I quickly learned that the more you know someone, the more you love someone, the more painful it is to say goodbye. Holding hands It was also the first time I had ever laid my hand on the chest of someone taking their final breath. Just days before that, it was the first time I’d ever been in a hospital room where the Rapid Response Team came flooding in ready with the Crash Cart. It was all happening so fast. My heart was breaking into a puzzle and now a piece would be forever missing. I am so thankful for each memory with my grandma. I am equally as thankful for my sister and the memories we made in that week alone.

Yes, February was Love Month! My love came in the form of holding the hand of the strongest woman I’d ever known while sitting with my sister, the second strongest woman I know. I felt love as my sister and I laughed about the pajama pants she brought me to wear for our hospital sleepover the night before my grandmother passed. One leg of the pants were smaller than the other…it was quite a scene. I wore them anyway and we laughed until we cried. Then we cried some more as our hearts filled with reality.

Love came in with my son and his wife, the next morning as my grandma decided to head home to be with her Forever Friend. The four of us counted the seconds between her breaths. She slipped off peacefully into a world where love never ends.

As my sister and I prepared her arrangements the next day, I had a feeling the funeral would be on Valentine’s Day. Sure enough, that is how it fell allowing enough time for family to arrive. I personally found it very fitting; After all, my grandmother had been one of my greatest loves. She taught me so much about life, love and legacy. I am so honored to be writing about it all in my upcoming book. I am of course saddened that she won’t be here to read it, but she lived it.

flowersThe flowers I received this year for Valentine's came when I got home between her passing and the funeral. My sweet husband and daughter had flowers waiting for me. Then of course on Valentine's the flowers were from loved ones, and a beautiful pink carnation casket spray, exactly what Grandma would have wanted. Jewelry this Valentine's was from Grandma as well. My sister, mom and cousin went through my grandmother's vintage jewelry the night before the visitation. I wore some of the pieces to both the visitation and the funeral. I could almost feel Grandma patting my face telling me how she loved the jewelry on me.

We were surprised with another gift of love when we received a phone call from the San Antonio Express News Paper. They wanted to do a feature story on my grandma. Priscilla Aguirre did an awesome job writing this article honoring my grandma.

Love continued to pour in through family and friends as we all said our final goodbyes. One man that worked with my grandma at the Elks Lodge years before, road his bicycle up to the visitation. Who does that? A man touched by my grandmother’s life, that’s who! Such love was felt from all whom attended her services, paid condolences and sent cards.

A sweet friend I call my Tyler grandma, (because we live by Tyler and she does, as well), gave me the sweetest gift. A pretty lace shawl in a gift bag covered with flowers. She said it was a bouquet of remembrance and that each time I wore it she hoped it brought sweet memories of my grandma. Love…that is love…

I am still numb, still grieving but know that as we Spring Forward (Daylight savings thing in Texas) now in March, that my grandma would want me to do the same…spring forward. She always believed that God had the solution to her problems long before she had the problems. I will do my best to spring forward. To get back to writing her book, writing here on my blog and on my hiking blog(we leave for a schedule trip Thursday!!!). I will continue to live as God has called me to knowing that would be exactly what she would have done.

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It's a Themed Party!

I love themed parties! Maybe it stems from one of my former jobs. I was once an event planner for a major hotel chain on the Riverwalk in San Antonio, Texas. It was a fun job! I loved helping people plan and theme their events. I carried that over with my children's birthday parties. One year we had a Fear Factor theme complete with live worms. When we moved to East Texas almost nine years ago, we had a garden party for my daughter. All the children decorated clay pots and signed one large for her, then we planted flowers in them. Decorating the pots served as an activity and the finished product as the party favor. For the past several years, I have themed my years. Most people make New Year Resolutions. I came across, My One Word and loved the idea. Basically, it's like setting a theme for your year. Here are my themes over the last six years:

2012 Worthy 2013 Enough 2014 Uncaged 2015 Covered 2016 Metamorphosis 2017 Clear and Sincere

My Two Words for 2017, Clear and Sincere!

Yes, this year I have two words. I probably would have chosen "clarity" but, while visiting my 93 year old grandmother she spoke "clear and sincere" over me. I told her I was focusing full-time on "her" book. She told me to be clear and sincere so that people will understand it. Those words pierced my heart. For years, I have been struggling with clarity regarding this project. The book is finally taking shape and will be published this year. I can't wait to see her face when she is holding a copy.

Save the Butter Tubs is a joint venture born out of my grandmother's revelation in the middle of the night. In  2010, I was visiting my grandmother. We had a routine in the mornings where I would bring in her paper, while she got her coffee. Then we would chat about how we slept, and the day ahead.  This particular morning, I could tell something was different about her.  She had a childlike expression and almost bursting with excitement, she told me that she woke in the middle of the night, sat straight up in her bed and had a revelation that I was to write a book about all the good in her life.

She handed me a tattered notebook where she had already jotted down some thoughts, “A memory of one person’s pilgrimage (foot steps) through life, memories of my journey of a very full life.” As I read those words, I felt honored, and humbled as if I was touching a piece of precious history…I was. That was the beginning of a new journey for me. I wasn't sure when I agreed that day how any of this would turn out and to be honest, I'm still not. I just know that I can't let it go; That God used my grandmother to confirm the calling he placed on my life five years before. A calling that I avoided because I didn't think I was worthy or enough. I was caged by fear until I accepted God's promise to be my refuge and that His faithfulness would be my armor and protection. (Psalm 91:4).

2016 proved to be a year of metamorphosis, and boy, did I need God like never before! I went from being a full-time college student, to thirty days on bed rest, to a full-time writer. I was headed in a completely different direction until I found myself sick with Lyme Disease. Thankfully, after thirty-one days, I was healed. It's funny that a bug caused my metamorphosis, since it is a term most people use to describe a butterfly changing from a "bug" to a beautiful fluttering creature.

I challenge you, even if you have already made your resolutions (maybe, even already failed at them) to theme your year! Decide what kind of party you want it to be, and then throw yourself a party! I will have a physical party this year, the theme, launching my clear and sincere book, Save the Butter Tubs. Consider yourself invited! Of course, there will be more details to come as things unfold. Stay tuned. The book will be a life changer for those that read it!

Tell me below in the comments your One Word. I'd loved to hear what party you have planned for 2017!

The High Price of Unbelief And How to Pay It With Faith

(Disclosure: This post will not be about me shoving my faith in Jesus in your face. It will be about faith, beliefs and the high price of unbelief in whatever it is you are struggling to believe.)

The High Cost of Unbelief and How to Pay it with FaithBelief is complex. We can believe things because we see them. I believe my office needs a serious makeover because I see chaos when I open the door. We can also believe in things we cannot see. Faith is believing in something that you cannot see. I have faith in the brakes on my FJ Cruiser. I believe that when I push the brake pedal it will stop. Thankfully, it does.

What we believe about ourselves, our hopes and dreams work the same way. I believe that I am pale complexioned because I can look in the mirror. If mirrors didn't exist the sun would remind me in about fifteen minutes. I also believe I am capable of accomplishing things I have never done before. I haven't always felt that way.

When we don't believe we create stories in our heads. If I didn't have faith in my brakes, I could start fantasizing about all the horrible things that could happen to me. I could ignore the fact that my skin is pale hitting the beach all day with friends but the truth would be painful.

To start believing in myself, my abilities to accomplish my dreams, I looked back on my life. Now, I did share with you in the disclosure at the beginning of this that my faith is ultimately in Jesus. I believe that he will work all things together for those that love him and obey his commands. Let's just say for a moment you don't believe that, that's your choice. Either way, take a look back over your life. What things have you accomplished that you never thought were possible? Write them down. Think about how you felt before you did them. Did you believe you could accomplish them?

In 2010, I participated in a Sprint Triathlon. I will save the full story for another time but just know that I am not that kind of athlete. I was pushing myself to do something I had never done before. I didn't even own a bike! I borrowed one three days before the event. I didn't know if I could accomplish this goal or not. I was believing in something I had not seen before. Was I scared? You bet I was! Was it hard? Duh! Remember, I am not that kind of athlete. Not really an athlete at all to be honest.

Now, if I had never done that triathlon, what would it matter? It didn't shoot me to superstar status. I didn't make the Wheaties box. I didn't even get a participation medal. What I got was so much deeper. I accomplished a goal. I learned valuable lessons that I will carry with me forever. In fact, just writing this short snip bit about it gets me all fired up! It still blows my mind to this day.

I call this exercise of writing down your accomplishments your Victory Channel. (I also include my God moments. Like, the time a deer came out of nowhere almost running into the front tire of my FJ but then it was just gone, no explanation. I count those on my Victory Channel, too. They remind me that I am still here for a purpose.) When I feel my channel is stuck on the doubt station or the negativity station. I flip the switch. I read my Victory Channel list. I remind myself that I CAN do things I once doubted or at least I can try.

[Tweet theme="tweet-box-normal-blue"]I remind myself that I CAN do things I once doubted or at least I can try.[/Tweet]

What happens if you don't? If, I had never participated in that triathlon, if, I had never started this blog, what would the cost be? It breaks my heart to think of the cost. The cost is high for me and for you. Had I never done the triathlon I would be beating myself up with regret. My station would be stuck on doubt, on wondering. I would have never inspired anyone; no lessons would have been learned. No funny stories would be told. If I had not started this blog, you wouldn't be reading this. We would never meet (even if it's just over the web). My doubt station would be on. My heart would be filled with regret. My dream would be dead instead of taking off. It really comes down to the dreams in your heart. Let them out! Let them fly!

If you don’t believe in yourself, your dreams, a goal, you begin to tear yourself up. You find ways to avoid what your heart is calling you to do in faith. You make choices out a place of avoidance. Choices that can have lifelong consequences. Have patience and faith to do the next right thing that will lead you closer to your dream.

[Tweet theme="basic-white"]No matter how small, a step toward your dream is better than a step away from it.~BrendaHaire [/Tweet]

Is risk involved in believing? Sure, sometimes there is. Trust me when I say that the benefits far out weight the risks. This isn't an infomercial for one of those pills. You know the ones, grow your hair back but die of bleeding out your eyeballs... Was that too much?  You know exactly what I am talking about though and dreaming is not like that at all. The dreams are there because they are a part of you. It may be that one dream teaches you lessons to launch another. Dreams do change; however, when freed, the legacy they leave can be great.

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The High Cost of Unbelief and How to Pay it with Faith

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